Stop Lounging and Get in the Water!

I had an interesting trumpet lesson today. By the time it was over, my instructor turned to me and told me that he was immensely excited about how much I had progressed this last week. He said the five weeks or so before he hadn't noticed much, but now that I have a deadline he can tell that I'm working harder to play my solo better. He expressed his desire for me to continue, to maybe even change my major back to a performance (BM), so that I would progress as far as I could. This instigated a discussion that lasted a half an hour after my lesson had technically ended, and we talked about what was going on, behaviors of people on and off campus and in the church, and things like that. What it came down to, at least for me, was the dedication and the commitment that he thought seemed to be lacking in me. He told me, (and I'm grateful for him pointing this out), that it seems like while I know I'm talented, I seem to be resting on that talent; that I've figured out that I can procrastinate everything and get away with it with a pretty decent job rather than an exceptional one.


And I have to admit this is true... I probably do rest on my talent more than I should. I can count on one hand the number of times I practiced for the quintet concert that's tonight, and while there are a couple little spots in our music that I know need to be worked out, I haven't done anything about it because I can get away with a good enough job. (And if they ever read this, they'll probably be kind of upset with me... Phooey.) So what my teacher encouraged me to do was to figure out what I'm dedicated to, and fully commit to it. He thought that by being a BA, I was sort of leaving myself too many options, and not making myself commit to any one of those. When I argued that I really do care about all of those things, like music composition and writing and all those things, he simply said that I don't have to remove those options, but rather if I commit to one wholeheartedly, my influence and dealings with the others would increase as well.


Pretty much he verbally smacked me upside the head (in a very polite, 'I really want to see you excel kind of a lot' kind of way) and told me that instead of sitting back and dipping my toes in the pool, I need to get in the water and swim. That doesn't mean diving in the deep end, but I need to get in the water, try it out, and dedicate myself to what I want to do. My teacher brought up the poem 'Invictus', which says "I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul" and he says that there was a general authority who countered that by saying that Christ is the master of your fate and the captain of your soul; my teacher has come to the conclusion that is it through Christ that you become the master of your fate. Because of Christ, we have the ability to choose where we want to go and what we want to do.


So even though I'm not changing back to a BM, I kind of really want to show him that I can be dedicated, and in a way he has opened doors for me as a musician that I never really thought about looking into before. I want to commit to being a professional, regardless of my degree, and I want to learn the things that I know he can teach me.


And the same can go to you! Commit to something! Is it a talent, a goal, a dream? Commit to doing what it is that you need to do to get there. Don't put yourself down and think that you'll never get there because you're supposed to just be a stay-at-home mom or just be the breadwinner of the family. Be all that you can be. Jump in that pool, swim, and enjoy the water!

(Boy, I've gotten philosophical over the last few months...)