College: The Semester That Almost Ate Me Alive and Has Already Taught Me Something

 This is kind of a long post, but this last week has been so crazy, and I think I've discovered something about myself and making decisions for myself... I promise that after this I'll quit blogging about college for a while....

Remember in the last post when I said that everything would be worked out by 5:30PM Monday? Yeeeeeeah right.


The semester started off like I thought it would. There were trumpet auditions and the discrepancies about classes, but I thought it would work itself out. Well, my audition didn't go as planned. I had to wait outside the trumpet instructor's office while the gal ahead of me auditioned because he was running late. When I went in for my audition, it didn't last nearly as long as hers did- if I was lucky, it was about half as long. And a third of it was looking for last semester's solo. I only played two things for him. Then he asked the dreaded question- "So, have you decided what major you're going for?"


Ha! I thought. I've thought about this for the last six weeks. I know exactly how I'm going to deal with you! "I am sticking to the BA," I replied confidently. "I was hoping I could talk with you about what I want to do with my lessons and such."


"Are you taking major lessons?" he asked, to which I replied, "Well, no, but that's why-"


"There's 14 trumpets in the studio this semester. I don't think I'll have time to teach any non-major trumpet lessons this fall."

And that's where the audition ended. I don't think I had a chance. At all. Come 7 PM, Dan and I drove back to campus where I discovered that I didn't make Symphony Orchestra or Chamber Brass, the two ensembles I was planning on being in and the ones I'd been in since I came to the school. I was heartbroken. Literally. I tried not to cry, but I did. I did make Symphony Band, but I didn't think I could take it because of my Creative Writing class for my cluster (aka mini-minor). Plus I wasn't even planning on taking that ensemble this particular semester...


So my 17 credit semester went down to 14 credits. 14 credits is enough for me to keep all my financial aid... except there was a Music History overview class that was supposed to be covered by another class I'd taken before I'd transferred, which, after dropped from my current schedule, would take me down to 11 credits. That there's bad news bears.


So after sobbing and feeling horrible, after Dan gave me a beautiful husband's blessing, I went back to campus and up to advising, where I explained the situation to the wonderful lady who patiently listened and gave me advice and helped me choose the classes I needed to take to keep my credits up at a full-time student level. My trumpet teacher, upon hearing that I couldn't take Symphony Band because of the Creative Writing class, found two other classes I could take at different times (although he didn't sound too happy with me, but whatever).


There's was an additional discrepancy about whether I'd have to drop my Conducting class for Piano Proficiency, but after talking with the ladies who run the PP classes, they said 10 years of piano should be enough to test out, so I'm just going to wing it and not mess up my schedule even more.


Seriously, I'm surprised I'm not bald. I just about tore my hair out all week at different times. I was convinced I wouldn't be in any ensembles this semester, and even though I am in one, I'm not even going to try to take lessons this semester- I'll try again after Christmas. I figure if by then my teacher has time to teach me, then I'll try to figure out what I want them. But if he really is still unhappy with me choosing to the BA, (which seems kind of ridiculous to me,) then I'll figure it out on my own, whether it's studying repertoire on my own or finding someone else to teach me. I'm standing up for myself. I don't care what anyone else thinks. I want to graduate with a Bachelor of Arts in Music, and I'm going to do it my way. I'm paying for it, not anyone else. (Ok, the government is paying for it.)


Sometimes it feels like a lot of the people who used to be in other ensembles with me won't talk to me anymore, like I've become some sort of evil entity who has contracted the bubonic BA plague and isn't fit to play Mussourgsky's "Pictures at an Exhibition". Sometimes I wonder if it isn't easier to just submit to the trumpet teacher who knows all and says I should be a BM major. But... at the same time, it's sort of empowering to make a firm decision for myself, and to know that it's what I want, and it sort of inspires me to want to do more to achieve it...


Is it sad that it took twenty years to discover this?


(If you read this entire post, you deserve a cookie. I have a new oven and I can make you some....)