Not an Organist

You might remember this post where I played the organ in devotional for the first time, right? And that went really well, right? Well, I knew that after that performance I would probably get asked to play devo for the rest of the time I was here, once a semester. Sure enough, (sooner than I thought,) I was asked to play. The hymns weren't too difficult, but I didn't know any of them at all and I had just one week to prepare them.

Oh boy.

I paced myself, didn't overplay them, didn't let myself get frustrated, but when I played them for my organ teacher last Friday, they were horrible. We both panicked. I didn't know what to do. I knew I could play these hymns, but I kept messing up left and right (and foot). We agreed that the weekend should be enough time to tidy up the hymns.

Come masterclass on Monday, I played for the other organists and... it didn't go so well. I was embarrassed, but I was trying so hard to play them as well as I knew I could. They weren't perfect, sure, but I kept messing up passages that I knew I could play. It became a consistency issue- I knew I could play the hymns but I couldn't play it well even twice in a row, and each hymn has 3-4 verses. (And the one, "I Believe in Christ", was the same three lines repeated twice for one verse!) The organ teacher still seemed optimistic, and asked me to review them and try to pick up the speed a little before devo on Tuesday.

So on Tuesday I go to the building that devo is in, and meet both teachers so that I can review the hymns one last time before I debuted them. They weren't any better. It was still frustrating and upsetting, but strangely by this point I was calm. After I played them the organ teacher came over to me, and I knew that what I had been able to prepare wasn't enough.

I looked right at him and said, "If you want someone else to play today I'm not offended. I completely understand." He nodded, and said, "I think if you had another week then they would be great. But... we only have an hour..."

So my organ teacher had to play the hymns, and I only did prelude and postlude. I felt so horrible because she had to play impromptu and it's all my fault... but I feel like I did my best...

So, these things happen. I know I'm not the greatest organist to ever walk the earth- I'm nowhere close to that! But I felt like I was being honest with myself, and that is what is important to me. I did what I could, and just wasn't at the skill level required for the situation. Husband Man told me later that he was proud of me because I didn't insist on playing them even when I knew I couldn't.

It was a good learning experience, however, as I did pick up a few practice techniques that can help me in the future. The organ instructor told me that I would probably be asked later in the semester, when I would have more time to prepare, but honestly I feel kind of crappy about playing the hymns. I'm focusing on my other pieces for my lesson right now, and maybe I'll try the hymns again after Memorial Day weekend.

[Sorry about the depressing post! Would knowing about impending posts make things better? Of course it would! I have a really funny story about me playing organ at last semester's convocation that involves me literally choking over the organ. Also, this weekend is Memorial Day weekend, AND my birthday! And Husband Man says he has lots of things planned, since my family was going to come and then couldn't because of work and my cousin's graduation.

That's not enough to counter my depressing post? Here, have a picture of a kitty.

This is a good interpretation of Husband Man after school is over for the day and I make him wait while I make him dinner.]

Grandpa's Baptism, a Family Sealing, and Why I Didn't Get a Plant For Mother's Day at Church This Year

We've got a few things to cover in this post. I have so many things I want to share!! (Because apparently I'm too lame to keep up with this blog!) So this might be long, but bear with me because it's all really good stuff. You can also go here to see what's happening on the writing side of life.

The first weekend in May Husband Man and I drove down to Utah for my grandfather's baptism. (My mom's dad.) I honestly never thought I'd ever see this happen, but ever since my grandmother passed away when I was a freshman in high school my grandfather has had a roller-coaster of attempts to be baptised and get his life in order so he can be sealed to my grandmother. It was a wonderful blessing to be a part of this huge step in Grandpa's life, and it was the most beautiful thing to see my mother cry with joy and the Spirit because of this decision my grandpa has made. I love my grandpa so much, and I can't wait until next year when I get to be in the temple with my family! (Hopefully I can be there, anyways.)

Today the coolest couple on the planet took their adopted son to the temple to be sealed for time and all eternity. I love these people! I call them my big brother and big sister, because they pretty much were older siblings for me when I first went away from college. Their home was our home. We watched movies there, played games, had dollar birthdays, played guitar hero (or was it rock band? I don't know. It was fun!), we laughed there, we cried there (ok, I cried there.... a lot), I got a priesthood blessing there when I got an abscess in my mouth and almost went to the hospital for dehydration, we stayed there over a weekend when the entire college town got drunk over football (there was a lot of alcohol around, no joke), and so much more. I'm so glad that they finally have a little boy that is theirs for eternity, and I can't wait for more to be adopted! Congrats! (You can visit them here)

Finally... Mother's Day. The ward gift was pretty hilarious- So about mid-April I go to a council meeting thingy with our bishopric members in place of the Relief Society president, and at one point the men talked about the upcoming Mother's day and what gift they should get. Then they turned to me and said, "You should ask the sisters in Relief Society what they want. We have no clue what to get them. Do they want a plant like last year? Or something different? Chocolate? What?"
So I agreed to ask, and a couple weeks later the question was brought up in Relief Society. When asked whether the sisters would appreciate chocolate or a plant like last year, the general consensus was a plant and that most sisters had enjoyed receiving that as a gift. That lasted for about two minutes, however, until a sister raised her hand and said,
"Can I change my answer? I voted for flowers, but I killed my plant last year."
This caused a murmur among the sisters, and calls of "Oh yeah, I did too..." and "Now that you mention it, I think I'd rather have chocolate."
So this last Sunday, as we left the chapel, we had a selection of candy bars that most of us shared with our husbands. That's probably the real reason why they asked the women to pick- it occurred to them that they could just default with flowers again, but if we happened to choose chocolate then they could have some too....
Oh, you want to know what Husband Man got me? He didn't get me anything, and I told him he couldn't. I'm not a mother! So I told him he couldn't get me anything. I'm not sad, so you shouldn't be either!

Idaho: The Windy State

This last Monday dawned bright and early. I dragged myself out of bed and peered groggily through the blinds to see the sun lighting the outside world. I got ready for my grueling school day of non-stop 7:45AM to 5:30PM classes, pulled a light jacket out of the closet, and donned my backpack. After family prayer with Husband Man, we stepped outside of the house to walk to campus.

The entire 10-minute walk we were buffeted about with headlong winds that threatened to force us to walk backwards instead of forwards. My carefully-brushed hair was blown all around my face. My eyes squinted against the dry gales. I thought I would never make to campus.

The same wind guided me home, but in true SE Idaho fashion still blew me almost face on despite the fact that I was walking in the opposite direction as that morning.

The same wind walked me to and from school for FOUR DAYS. I stopped styling my hair. I almost gave up going to my Doctrine and Covenants class because walking uphill with an unrelenting headlong wind seemed impossible.

I hate the wind. With a passion. The wind makes me hate Idaho, which makes me hate going to school. Even the sunshine doesn't make it better. Today it's not quite as strong, but that's not saying much.

As for school, Husband Man and I are doing all right. We've gotten to the point where we feel that school is our life, and there's nothing beyond that. We are trapped in a black hole of papers and books and reading and research. Husband Man dropped an extra class so he wouldn't have 18 credits, so he's holding up. My workload isn't too bad, thank heavens... but by the end of this semester I'll have done five semesters in a year and a half. I'm so ready for the seven-week break! I'm so ready to be graduated! But alas, no graduation for us until next April...

Let's see... I haven't killed any of the plants...

Oh! My grandpa is getting baptised tomorrow! I'm super excited for that! He asked me to play the piano for it. We're going back to Utah tomorrow so we can be there. I'm happy that he's getting baptised, and I'm happy that I get to get out of Idaho for a day! Woohoo!

(Honestly, my life isn't this depressing.... but it is pretty mundane! Haha)