FHE Monday #6

March apparently wasn't a good month for Family Home Evening; however, we started April off with General Conference and FHE! It probably helps that it is warmer outside. March is so depressing!

I kept this last FHE simple, but I think it's just as important. We started by singing "Book of Mormon Stories", making sure Gummy Bear was watching and listening. I said an opening prayer, and then pulled out our scriptures. I had this great idea to use GB's "My First Book of Mormon Stories" board book along with our scriptures: I opened to the first story in the book, read it to him, and then connected it to a couple verses in the Book of Mormon. This first story was about Lehi and the Lord's promise to lead him and his family to the promised land. The verses I picked were 1 Nephi 1:20 and 2:1....
"...But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."
"...Blessed art thou Lehi, because of the things which thou hast done; and because thou hast been faithful and declared unto this people the things which I commanded thee..."

We let Gummy Bear play while we talked for just a few minutes about the scripture, and then moved on to the lesson. I pulled it from our little book of FHE for newlyweds. This particular one was about marriage myths, addressing the expectations that people often have in marriage that are unrealistic. It asked us to read a list of 10 myths, and talk about whether we believe them or not.

1. Marriage should always make you happier than when you were single.
2. The romance will stay alive if you really love each other.
3. Your mate should automatically understand you.
4. In a good marriage, partners have identical dreams and goals.
5. If your sex life starts out good, it will stay that way.
6. If you have to work at marriage, something is wrong.
7. You should work on changing your spouse for the better.
8. Happily married couples should never fight.
9. You can't find self-fulfillment in marriage or family relationships.
10. Your ideas about an ideal marriage should not change.

Some of these we had trouble with, mostly because we felt they were so vague. For example, when we read number four we realised that we had similar dreams and goals for our family, but as individuals it is ok to have different dreams and goals. And we were both perplexed by number nine, and ended up skipping over it. At the same time, we also had some good mini discussions about some of these, so maybe the vague-ness is a good thing. In our case, we both knew that marriage wasn't all butterflies and roses and that it took work and effort. We also know that a lot of other couples may not have ever thought about any of these before. Husband Man and I have always made an effort to talk about everything, and I think that helped us learn a lot about each other.

You could easily make this a longer, more in-depth study about marriage by reading or listening to President Gordon B. Hinckley's talk "What God Hath Joined Together" from the April 1991 General Conference. There is a particular quote that he mentioned that really connects to this lesson:

Of course, all in marriage is not bliss. Years ago I clipped these words from a column written by Jenkins Lloyd Jones:

“There seems to be a superstition among many thousands of our young who hold hands and smooch in the drive-ins that marriage is a cottage surrounded by perpetual hollyhocks to which a perpetually young and handsome husband comes home to a perpetually young and ravishing wife. When the hollyhocks wither and boredom and bills appear the divorce courts are jammed. …

“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed.” (Deseret News, 12 June 1973, p. A4.)

He goes on to mention some difficulties that we could face in marriage, and how we can overcome them. It brings hope that a prophet of the Lord acknowledges that marriage can be difficult, and that there is help and hope that we can make it worth our time.

We finished by singing "I love mommy, she loves me..." a couple of times, and then Husband Man said a closing prayer. Once again our home was filled with peace and gentle love as we prepared to go to bed. I am so grateful that we can feel the blessings of having FHE, a simple affirmation that this simple act as a family is so important and so worth it!