Me: Please put the marshmallows with the chocolate chips."
HusbandMan: Are you sure we shouldn't just put them with the regular chips? I mean, you eat them like chips..."
Sitting on the couch...
M: Did you shave today? You're scruffy.
H: ....I'm a real boy! Excuse me while I go drag a razor sharp piece of steel across my face--
M: <laughing> Hooray, you have a five-o-clock shadow!
H: You were like SMITE and I was like SLAIN.... <makes blood spurting noises>
After making a breakfast cake...
M: Look! I only made a tiny mess!
H: What have you done with my wife?
While trying to do homework with Sous Chef (one of my friends up here, she's awesome):
M: Life is strange and unusual.
S: <quietly> punishment...
While talking about particularly bad-for-you desserts...
M: They call it "better than sex cake" but it has coconut in it, and coconut is not better than sex.
S: <horror-stricken>
S and H: <burst out laughing>
M: Did I really just say that?
M: Are we allowed to use the word "sex" on our blog?
H: Well, they have it in the Bible.
S: Usually when it's in the Bible it's called "adultery"...
While Husband Man was trying to kiss attack me, I put my hands up to cover my face...
H: I used to be a lover like you, and then I took a diamond in the teeth...
Sous Chef while cooking bacon...
S: Bacon, bacon, sizzle sizzle, you'd better taste good... for shizzle....??
After looking for something on the top shelf of our closet...
M: My face and my trumpet [case] got in a fight, and my trumpet won.
Texting my baby sister...
S: What if you farted so explosively that the friction from your butt cheeks set your pants on fire?
M (in real life after reading it): . . . . . <evil thought>
M (in text): You should ask [Husband Man] how that goes.
S: He's set his pants on fire? That's so cool!
M: <facepalm>
While waiting for the chiropractor...
M: How's this for my Husband Man muppet face impersonation?
H: You have little wrinkles... frowny dimples...?
M: Frimples!
can't wait for Christmas!
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