Pregnancy Post #1: Reality vs. The Internet

I've passed the first trimester and all the wonderfulness that is nausea and puking. I feel lucky about my first tri I was only sick for maybe six-ish weeks, nausea all day but no throwing up unless I ingested something my tummy severely disagreed with. Like that one time I brushed my teeth and then puked up my spaghetti dinner and moose tracks ice cream dessert. (Spaghetti noodles can go up your nose... who knew?) Or that one time that I tried a Finnish cider drink my SIL brought from Finland, and one sip brought up my pizza lunch a couple hours later. (Future moms, take note: If the smell makes your tummy churn, DON'T DO IT.)

But yes, thanks to my wonderful Husband Man, I made it through, without telling a single soul, so I could surprise my families at Christmastime. I feel awesome.

Now, however, I want to talk about a weird phenomenon that I've discovered about the interwebs. This is the age of information, where everyone has access to the internet and anyone under 80 knows how to use Google. I don't know how the pioneers endured nine months of wondering what was going on in their bodies-- I read up all the time on how Gummy Bear is growing, whether he/she can hear or sense light or is growing hair or still has translucent skin....

By the way, we call him/her Gummy Bear because of our first ultrasound. As we're watching this little... blob of a future person squirm around on the screen, Husband Man broke the silence by saying "It looks like a gummy bear" and so we've called him/her that ever since. But I digress...

The biggest thing that I notice about these baby websites, is this: These websites make it seem like you got pregnant and it's absolutely perfect and you have absolutely nothing to do in your life except lounge around, crochet adorable things, enjoy a bowl of granola, set up pristine bedrooms, dither over the perfect name, and be a photo model on the side. "You, too, can look radiant and heavenly in a pair of yoga pants and a tank top!" is what all their photos have to say.

Look, the only reason I look "radiant" is because of the mass of glowing-red pimples on my pasty-white face. I'm still in college, I still have homework to do, an apartment to clean, I feel tired and draggy and take a lot of very-not-pretty naps, dinner still has to be made, groceries still need to be purchased... And while the websites suggest asking for help from your husband, let's face it-- he's not perfect. My wonderful Husband Man is super helpful with tidying the house and helping me take naps, but I'm also very aware that he would rather eat the house empty than go grocery shopping.

Plus women deal with all sorts of things that aren't always addressed. I was talking with one gal, and she's been a crazy cleaning lady her whole pregnancy. She would get up in the night to pee and end up vacuuming the whole apartment. Her husband could do nothing to convince her to stop and go back to bed. Some women get super emotional, happy one minute and bawling over spilled milk the next. (I've had my share of being randomly distraught over something trivial.) Now, I know these websites are meant to be positive and uplifting, but that's like the advertising on pads and tampons to "Have a happy period!" even though you're having cramps that could cripple hippos and enduring mood swings and whatnot. Trying to stay positive doesn't always work when your back hurts, your feet hurt, you can't stay awake through a movie, and your husband doesn't know what to do with you when you're insisting that the baseboards are dirty and have to be cleaned RIGHT NOW. (Or when you only want chicken noodle soup, but it has to be from Progresso and then he has to go to the store just to make sure you have soup for dinner.)

Now, let's be fair-- there are magical moments of pregnancy. One of the milestones I'm coming up on is feeling the baby move. In a few weeks is another ultrasound. Watching my belly grow is interesting, and thinking about the tiny person growing inside blows my mind. It's brought Husband Man and I a little closer together as we think about becoming parents and deciding on how we might teach our kids this or that... I really am excited!

It's just true that what the internet says about being pregnant is, in a lot of ways, not what happens in reality. They're inconsistent, redundant, not always 100% accurate, and sometimes don't answer all my questions. That's why I'm so grateful for my mom and Husband Man's older sister, who have given me TONS of useful advice- and reality- that the internet can't do. The age of information has nothing on the tried-and-true knowledge of mothers.