H: I believe in hormones...
While at a friend's in-laws' house preparing for a wedding...
A: It's all fun and games until you get cat hair in your scruff.
After playing Oregon Trail for the first time, Husband Man's Finnish brother-in-law fell asleep on the couch. As his wife led him downstairs to sleep on the bed...
FBil: I think I dreamed of dysentary.
Husband Man's Dad: We grew, and harvested, a lemon. In South Dakota. In December. ...I love global warming.
Texting my sister while I was recovering from the flu and bronchitis:
Meems: What's your temp?
Me: I dunno. I haven't taken it because I haven't felt it was off
Meems: Take it
Me: 97.9
Meems: You have cancer
Me: That's funny. The symptom checker said I had the Bubonic plague
Meems: Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Sunday afternoon sitting...
S: What song is this? Handel?
A: I dunno... Wait, that's Pachabel's "Canon"! How could you forget that??
S: I didn't recognise it right away, it was more upbeat than I'm used to...
A: ....You're complaining that someone finally chose to play that song faster than a death march tempo??
S: NO! I was just saying.......
A: (ankle pops) Ow....
S: No hurting yourself!
A: I can't always choose if my ankle pops...
S: No purposely hurting yourself, like a masochist.
A: Well, I guess getting myself pregnant wasn't the best choice, then.
S & D: ................
A: Sorry, should I have not said that? ....See, I can still shock my husband with what comes out of my mouth....
S & D: (laughs)
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