Texting Meema

Texting my little sister after her week-long horseback trip...
Meema: I am so filthy dirty right now I broke every single Sorensen record. I stink. Bad.
Me: How many days have you gone without a shower?
Meema: In the past six days I have showered once. Its been three days but I'm still in the same clothes I wore yesterday, and I've been wearing these pants for six days.
Me: How was the trip then? Awesome?
Meema: Heat exhaustion, dehydrated, and lack of sleep. Trip was awesome. Lots of gallivanting around in the moonlight when I should have been asleep. My hair still smells good which totally clashes with the b.o. smell
Me: You said "lots of gallivanting" and I pictured you and your horse prancing around together in a moonlit field
Meema: You pictured correctly

Me: You know what bothers me more than people who complain about their bad choices?
Meema: What
Me: People who whine when they're doing something amazing. "I just got a sunburn in Hawaii it hurts so bad :( "
Meema: Geez! You say, "shut up! Take it like a man! Life is about experiences! I hope you get skin cancer as karma for whining!" Did you say anything?
Me: No
Meema: Doesn't matter. Do it for America! ... Whoops, I'm sorry. I'm used to hollering at scouts.
Me: Hahaha that's awesome!
Meema: "GET UP THAT SPAR POLE! YOU CAN DO IT! YOU'RE ON FIRE! WHICH IS BAD CAUSE WE'RE IN A DROUGHT! SLOW DOWN!"
Me: Bahahahahaha no mercy from Meema!
Meema: "IS THAT HOW YOU PLAY LOGGER BALL? MY LITTLE SISTER CAN PLAY BETTER THAN THAT!" So much fun.

Meema: Well, I guess what will be, will be... My feet stink. Also my shoes. I'll never have non stinky feet.
Me: You've always had stinky feet. ... I mean, I'm sorry
Meema: Oh yeah? At least I shower! ........or did.


Meema: I could go inside and sleep but drivers seat of my truck seems just fine.
Me: Weirdo
Meema: For that I think I can drudge up some energy and move
Me: You're going to come home and sleep on the floor because your bed is too comfy
Meema: BAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOSH YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW FUNNY THAT IS
Me: But it's true! You sleep anywhere but a bed!
Meema: I made it in the bunkhouse
Me: I just pictured you dragging yourself across the ground and through the doorway of the bunkhouse
Meema: In the past week I have slept: on a porch swing, on the floor, on uneven hay bales, on the roof of a shed, and in two different bunk houses
Me: So if all the workers sleep wherever they end up, then it must resemble what looks like after a party with drunk hungover unconscious people all over the place
Meema: I was going to deny that and then I thought about it and realised that's probably true. Even at base camp, where we all have bunks and where everyone goes on their days off, people sleep on the porch and on couches
Me: Cause beds are too comfy for you now
Meema: More like they just sit down and are too tired to get up again


Me: How are you??
Meema: IM JUST GREAT
Me: Bahahahahaha really?
Meema: REALLY GREAT. SO GREAT. FANTASTIC.
Me: AWESOME
Meema: ISNT IT


I sent her a picture of Gummy Bear...
Meema: OH MY GOSH HE'S SO CUTE I COULD JUST THROW UP BUTTERFLIES
Me: OH MY GOSH WHAT KIND OF BUTTERFLIES
Meema: ALL MAGICAL KINDS


Me: I'm going to try and send you a package tomorrow if I remember
Meema: It's alright, I'll be home next weekend
Me: I'm sorry... :(
Meema: Haha it's cool. I went to Walmart yesterday
Me: Woah. Civilization.
Meema: NO KIDDING THERE WAS A CAR SHOW IN TOWN TOO MANY PEOPLE I FREAKED
Me: Did you hide in the clothes racks?
Meema: Hahahaha no... But I refused to eat at KFC, so I took my food and parked at a dead end somewhere.
Me: Hahahahahahahahahaha
Meema: It was really pathetic, actually.


Meema: I've decided that when I have a kid, I'm going to decorate the nursery in camo.
Me: Do it


Me: Oh my gosh I smell so bad
Meema: Me too.


Meema: Hahahaha talking to one guy and he ran into a chair and realized he was going the wrong way oh my gosh I feel bad because he's embarrassed but I really want to laugh so hard
Me: Bahahahahaha
Meema: Hahaha it's still funny hahahaha


Meema: This guy thought I was 24
Me: Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Meema: Why is that funny
Me: It's just weird to think of you as 24 hahahahaha
Meema: I know. I was flattered though


Trying to talk to me about My Fair Wedding With David Tutera...
Meema: Aha hahahahaha David has a cowgirl bride and he's so confused by her and wearing boots to the wedding hahaha hilarious
Meema: "What's a redneck?" Hahahaha David hahaha he doesn't know what a hick is either
Meema: David Tutera can't get on a horse and he ripped his pants oh my gosh I'm crying this is so funny
Meema: HELLO WHERE ARE YOU
Me: I'M MOVING INTO MY NEW APARTMENT
Meema: TALK TO ME OR I'LL CRY


Meema: So today the boss sent me to buy a soda cause the machine always takes his money and the machine took the money and didn't give me a soda but I heard it drop so I kicked it and reached up  in it and got two sodas and a penny somewhere so now I'm the coke machine master
Me: Hahahahaha that's funny oh man hahahaha
Meema: I feel so accomplished
Me: You can put that on your resume. "Coke Machine Master"
Meema: Another one from my boss: "How do I get across this? me: "Well the road goes by the fence, sir." "yeah but there's a gully." Minute later "Emily?" "yes sir?" "why didn't you make me listen to you?"


Love you, Meema!