Yockeyite Banter Part Four

While traveling in the car with Husband Man...
HM: Upon closer inspection, a.k.a. I actually looked at it...

HM: Ok, those are smokestacks, not cell towers. I know because I actually looked at them.

A screamo song comes on the radio...
HM: I'm male. I have a guitar. Look at my tongue. (Does a screamo impersonation)


While at lunch with my seesters...
KT: (interrupting her own story) And I'm sorry, but that guy is running and his pecks are flapping...
Meema: What? Where??


Overheard while Husband Man was changing a poopy diaper...
H: Oh... Man... Ugh...... I know it gets worse, but.........
H: Son... I am your father... I come with an important message: Poop is not ok, unless it goes in the toilet.


Visiting an Investigator (to the church) about her baptism the next day...
Sister Missionary: You have white underwear, right? To wear under the jumpsuit?
Investigator: White underwear? Of course not. Who do you think I am, the Virgin Mary?


While feeding the Sister Missionaries, talking about peanut butter...
Sister Missionary (to New Member): New Member, are you chunky or smooth?


Driving on the highway late at night with a friend after a loooong day of shopping and a reception...
A tumbleweed is suddenly blown across the road, and Friend freaks out...
Friend: Oh my gosh... That scared me! Oh my gosh...
Me: It scared you but you didn't even slow down! What if that had been a small animal???
Friend: Actually I had just been thinking... If a small animal runs across the road, I'll just run over it with my truck!


While Husband Man is feeding Gummy Bear some rice cereal...
I turn around to see him having GB drink the cereal right out of the bowl...
Me: Husband! Don't do that!

HM: Stop spitting it out!
Me: You can feed him smaller bites. Sometimes that helps. But you can do it however you want.
HM: If we were doing this my way, we'd be using a funnel.