That They Might Have Joy

The woman in question was of about average height, long blonde hair and a bird-like nose and a bashful smile that was beautiful when she showed it. It came out that this woman was 51 years old, and I think my jaw cracked the foundation of my apartment. She looked maaaaybe to be in her thirties! But this woman would stand in front of the mirror, looking so stiff and uncomfortable, completely worried that she looked horrible and people would judge her. She was so hesitant to and almost unwilling to love herself, that she made Stacey and Clinton feel uncomfortable.

Yes, I was watching "What Not To Wear" again (DON'T LEAVE), and yes, I was staring with my mouth open again at the transformation. But this time it wasn't because the transformation was stunning-- this time, it was because I realised something. The entire time I was watching this episode, I had one thing going through my head...

When I am 50 years old, will I love myself?

(Oh no, this post is getting pinterest cheesy. Hang in there with me, I won't do it again.)

It's obvious what that image is saying, but think about it with yourself. If there's one person on this earth who is always with you, it's you. In this world where there is so much to do, so many places to be, so many things to get done, do you really have time to be hard on yourself? How much of your precious time is spent in front of the mirror criticizing yourself? They say that you spend something like two weeks of your life waiting at stoplights; I bet there are a lot of women who spend that much time frowning in the mirror.

While I was reading my scriptures today, I was directed to 2 Nephi 2:27...
"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." (Emphasis added)

I also found Luke 22:31...
"And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat..."
Or, as I see it,
"And the Lord said, Ashy, Ashy, behold, Satan hath desired to have you..."
(You can put your own name in there.)

The adversary is unhappy, and seeks to make you unhappy. The Lord has placed us on this earth and told us to be happy and joyful. If you're constantly bashing yourself for how you look, how much you weigh, how "old" you look, how many lines you have on your face, whatever it is, then you aren't living as the Lord wants you to. Trust me on this: as I have been learning to love and be happy with myself, even with all my "flaws", I have been learning that there is even more joy in the Gospel and in this life.

Quell the "If only..." syndrome. We all have it. If only I could lose ten pounds. If only I could have smaller feet. If only I didn't have acne. If only I didn't have stretch marks. If only I could have a waist like her. If only I could have straight hair. If only I could look like her. If only...
I am guilty of this. I've cried myself to sleep over the stretch marks, the leftover baby chub, the big feet, the unruly hair, whatever else I look in the mirror and see wrong.
But when I look in the mirror and focus on what I like, I realise that these things are the things other people see. No one judges me on my leftover pregnancy acne, or the stretch marks, and if they do then I hope that it can bring them joy, if only for a moment. (After all, you will be judged as you judge others...)

I'm not saying that you shouldn't care about working towards losing ten pounds, or getting rid of your acne, or whatever. Those are good goals. It's when those "if-only's" start taking over your happiness, when those flaws become an obsession, that it is a problem.

You may never look like a runway model or magazine cover girl, and that's ok! I know I won't-- my post-baby hips fit in a size 10 jeans and not a size smaller. It is physically impossible for me to look like a runway model. But let me tell you-- I look darn good in my jeans, because they flatter my body, they are comfortable, and I like my hips. I didn't always like these hips, but I do now because my husband forced me to look in the mirror and tell him what I liked about myself. I still remember his face when I told him I didn't like anything about me-- he was disappointed, sad, that I couldn't be happy. Our Heavenly Father is unhappy when you are unhappy, because He wants his children to have joy. As I learned to voice what I like, I learned that I like other parts of me that the world says are bad. We are told to live in the world but not of the world, and I believe that includes the world's standard of beauty. The world wants you to dislike yourself, because then you'll relentlessly spend money on products and things that will supposedly hide or remove those flaws. I'll say it again: The Lord wants us to be happy.

Don't spend your life criticizing yourself. Don't turn 51 and still be sighing as you look in the mirror, wishing you didn't look like you did. You will age. You will change. You will still be beautiful. Don't waste two weeks of your life saying "if only..." Don't let the world tell you what you should look like. Set goals to achieve fitness and healthiness. Be content. Be happy!

Trust me, it's so worth it!